Marriage Blog
My Husband Wants a Divorce and I Don't: How to Stand
Part of our guide: Saving Your Marriage Alone
"I don't want to be married anymore." If those words were just spoken in your home, you may feel like you can't breathe. Terrie Beeman knows that moment. Several years ago, her husband told her he wanted out. What followed was a 365-day battle, and a marriage that is now fully restored and 34 years strong.
Her story is not a promise that every marriage will turn out the same way. It is proof that one spouse's prayers and choices can change the atmosphere of a home.
What to stop doing right away
- Stop begging. Pleading usually pushes a withdrawing spouse further away.
- Stop arguing the case. You can't debate someone back into love.
- Stop recruiting. Calling his family and friends to pressure him often backfires.
- Stop checking constantly. Tracking every move steals your peace.
What to start doing
- Ask God how to win your marriage. Terrie heard the Lord ask, "What about Me? You haven't asked Me how to win your marriage back." Start there.
- Silence the outside voices. Choose two or three people who will pray with you and support your stand.
- Let God work on you. Ask Him to search your heart (Psalm 139:23-24). This isn't accepting blame. It's becoming whole.
- Be calm and kind. Peace in your home speaks louder than any argument.
- Pray with authority. Read Spiritual Warfare Prayer for Your Marriage and A Prayer for My Husband When He Has Walked Away.
- Protect yourself wisely. Get legal advice so you understand your rights and your children's needs. Standing in faith and being wise are not opposites.
What standing is not
Standing is not tolerating abuse, ongoing affairs or danger. If you're unsafe, please read When Standing Isn't Safe.
The hard days will come
Terrie is honest that there were days she was angry, sad and mad, and days she didn't want to fight. That's normal. Standing isn't feeling strong every day. It's getting back up and asking God for today's grace.
"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."Galatians 6:9 (KJV)
You need people standing with you
Join the free Tuesday prayer call, where many women are standing for their marriages too. For one-on-one support, Terrie offers Standing Alone Coaching. Learn more on our saving your marriage alone page.