My Husband Wants a Divorce and I Don't: How to Stand
Terrie Beeman heard those same words. Here's what she learned about standing for a marriage when you're the only one fighting.
Read more →Standing alone
Saving your marriage when you're the only one fighting
He said he wants out. Or he hasn't said it, but he's gone quiet, distant, somewhere else. You still believe in your marriage, and you're wondering if one person can really make a difference. Terrie Beeman is living proof that it can start with one.
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Terrie stood alone first
Several years ago, Terrie's husband told her he no longer wanted to be married. What followed was a 365-day battle of spiritual warfare: dark days, endless tears, anger, and days she didn't want to fight at all. Then she heard a still, small voice: "Terrie, what about Me? You haven't asked Me how to win your marriage back."
She silenced the outside voices, asked God for His blueprint, and learned to fight in the Spirit instead of in the flesh. Today their marriage is fully restored and 34 years strong. Read Terrie's full story.
What standing for your marriage means
- Standing is not begging. You don't chase, plead or manipulate. You pray, you grow, and you keep your heart soft.
- Standing is not pretending. You can grieve, name the hurt and set boundaries.
- Standing is not tolerating abuse. If you are unsafe, your safety comes first. Read When Standing Isn't Safe.
- Standing is spiritual warfare. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood" (Ephesians 6:12). Your husband is not the enemy.
Where to start
- Quiet the outside voices. Not everyone who loves you will support your stand. Choose a small circle of prayer partners.
- Work on what you can change: you. Ask God to search your heart (Psalm 139:23-24). This isn't taking blame for his choices. It's letting God make you whole.
- Pray with authority. Use prayers for your marriage and prayer and fasting.
- Stop arguing for the marriage. Pressure often pushes a checked-out spouse further away. Peace speaks louder.
- Get support. Join the free Tuesday prayer call and consider Standing Alone coaching.
Read next: My Husband Wants a Divorce and I Don't and Standing for Your Marriage When Your Husband Has Checked Out.
Standing for your marriage never means staying in danger. If you are afraid of your spouse, call 911 in an emergency or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788). If you are thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988. Faith-based coaching is not a substitute for licensed clinical care. When standing isn't safe.
More on saving your marriage alone
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I save my marriage if my husband doesn't want to?
You cannot control your husband's choices, but you can change the atmosphere of your marriage through prayer, personal growth and wise boundaries. Many marriages, including Terrie Beeman's, were restored after one spouse wanted out.
Should I keep asking him to stay?
Usually not. Begging and pressure tend to push a withdrawn spouse further away. Calm, consistent kindness, prayer, and your own healing are more powerful than arguments.
What if he has moved out or filed for divorce?
Separation or a filing does not have to be the final chapter. Get legal advice to protect yourself and your children, and keep praying. One of our community members filed for divorce twice and is now standing for her marriage.
Is there coaching just for the spouse standing alone?
Yes. Standing Alone Coaching is individual coaching with Terrie for the spouse who is fighting for the marriage when the other spouse is not ready.
You don't have to walk this alone.
Schedule a confidential Talk with Terrie Beeman. She has stood where you're standing.